Verbally I am congratulating him, while internally I hate him

Rakesh Kalra
2 min readMay 24, 2023


Internally: “I hate him. He became the team lead, but I am still a developer.”

Externally: “Congratulations, buddy! Where is the party?”

Ever wished, from the bottom of your heart, that your friend or colleague, who is growing much faster than you, while you are still where you were 2 years ago?

I’ll be honest, it’s not easy. Verbally, you may be saying “Congratulations, when are you throwing party” but internally, you may be feeling “I want to be in that position or he didn’t deserve it or I am better than him.”

Here are something I learnt over time from people who are happy, doing what they are doing:

  • You can’t just selectively compare certain aspects of life, like position or bank balances. Compare yourself holistically in terms of goals, life priorities, health, responsibilities, friendships, family and time put in. Understand that you have different goals and priorities, and the other person may have different priorities in life.
  • Create your definition of success. Does success mean only position for you? Or does it mean 50% health and 50% position? Or maybe it’s 30% your health, 30% your family’s health, and 40% position?
  • Understand that you don’t have to be like someone else, but you have to be the best version of yourself.
  • Focus on what you are micro-learning every day. How are you becoming your own hero every day?
  • Still intrigued by their success, why not learn from them? Ask for advice, understand their journey and then start your journey.
  • And hey, if you’re into comparisons, aim high! Look up to the Elon Musks and Jeff Bezoses of the world.

More than anything, enjoy the journey to your definition of success.

Remember that when you are climbing mountains, you will find some groups climbing faster than you and some groups climbing slower than you. You still meet everyone with a smile, crack jokes, break bread with them, and keep climbing at your pace which you enjoy.



Rakesh Kalra

Visual Thinker | I create visuals about: Health, Happiness, Life, Productivity, Success and Failure